Life isn’t about what you do. It’s about Who You Are Being while you’re doing. And, it’s hard to know who to be when you don’t know who you truly are. Who are you beyond your roles and beliefs?
A lot of my doing came from the need to be someone created by those roles and beliefs. I thought if I could do something great, really great, and help a lot of people, then I would be worthy of having and living this life. If I did something like that, I might make up for where I thought my life had missed the mark. If I did something, I might be someone.
Being hard on myself was a full-time job. My worthiness was questioned by the part of me that believed I needed to go big or go home. I had conjured up an ideal about who I needed to be and how I needed others to see me. This “me” created a great deal of stress in all aspects of my life.
Stress is a major contributor to mental, emotional and physical disease. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-stress-related-illness#benefits
It is my belief that dis-ease in the body has its beginnings in the mind and apparently my body had been taking cues from my mind where my relationship with myself was less than loving. This dichotomy ultimately manifested in autoimmune disorders.
“An autoimmune disease is a condition in which your immune system mistakenly attacks your body. Normally, the immune system can tell the difference between foreign cells and your own cells. In an autoimmune disease, the immune system mistakes part of your body as foreign. It releases proteins called auto-antibodies that attack healthy cells.” https://www.healthline.com/health/autoimmune-disorders
My journey with autoimmune disorders began in my mid-twenties, when I was diagnosed with graves disease from an overactive Thyroid. Since then, several other autoimmune conditions have presented, and each accompanied by a significant intervention. I consider myself a fairly positive person, one who looks for the opportunity for learning and growth in events and circumstances. And still, life during those times has been quite distressing.
I decided I didn’t want to be a victim of the next autoimmune disease and looked further in to the root cause. I have learned that stress often begins in the mind. In my case, I concluded that my healing would need to begin there as well. I vowed to dig deeper and look in the dark corners where I’d been hiding parts of myself. Then, recover those parts so I could reintegrate the whole of me, mind, body and spirit into health and well-being.
Regardless of what you’ve done, what you blame yourself for, where you feel shamed, unworthy or less than, there is a bigger part of you that has always been innocent and loving, waiting patiently for your return.
Self-care, self kindness and self compassion is a gateway to coming home to your true nature of unconditional love. I knew a Self Love strategy would be my best medicine. I began treating myself with the same quality of respect and tenderness that I would my children. That is when my real healing began.
It required me to be fully present to and aware of my deeply held beliefs and how I was speaking to myself. As I watched my thoughts, I also questioned them. It took courage and dedication to listen to my self-talk with curiosity and compassion and reclaim the parts of me that didn’t appear to know #loveistheway. I devoted the year to prioritizing the relationship with mySelf.
I smile when I see the post-it notes and pictures in my office and my home that re-mind me to love myself exactly as I am. When I’m hurting, I put my hand on my heart and speak to myself like I would those I love. When I feel stressed or tired, I ask myself, “what is the kindest, gentlest thing you can do for yourself right now?”
As I clear the layers of outdated beliefs away, I can hear the still, small voice that had been waiting patiently for me to recognize her power-full presence. I feel the freedom and inner peace to co-create with life and serve in a way that comes from knowing who I am and not needing to prove it to myself or anyone else.
What about you?
- What would it look like to create a relationship built on care, compassion and kindness with yourself?
- What changes in your routine would be more nurturing and healing?
- What is the kindest, gentlest thing you can do for yourself today?
You’ve likely been hearing a lot about self-care, self-kindness and self-compassion these days. You may be wondering why it’s so essential? You’ve been able to be kind, caring and compassionate for others but not yet found it to be something you know how to do for yourself. It might even feel selfish to think about giving to yourself as if it meant that you would be withholding from others. Truth be told, giving and receiving are one and you can’t give what you don’t have. So imagine what it would be like to fill yourself up and have even more to offer?
Are you wiling to explore self-care as a gateway to cultivating a relationship with yourself that will feed your soul and help you remember who you truly are before you added all the layers of conditioning, beliefs and roles ?
If so, you’re ready to join me for the Self Love Journey.
I will be your guide for 8 weekly Zoom calls beginning on February 14th.
This will be an intimate group of women (8 max) gathering virtually to explore and bring forth the feeling of coming home to yourself.
Contact me for a conversation on more details: Email: firstname.lastname@example.org or phone: (984) 377-2862